Expect nothing

What has happened? What have I learned? It is more about what have I felt. Understood and also remembered. I’m not writing this for you. I’m not writing this for me. I don’t have any expectations of this text, nor this blog. I don’t have any expectations of you reading it, understanding, accepting it or even liking it. I don’t expect anything from you, then you can read in peace.

So don’t expect anything from me.

This is life. In me, really deep in me, two fingers below my navel point, I feel life. Something undying is living in there. Wanting to be free, to be remembered and accepted. In Zen it’s called the Hara, Osho calls it your Buddha nature.

Osho’s presence, even though he left the body 21 years ago, leads me to go inside. I will not find answers outside. I can never become because I already am. What you are, everything, your dreams, strengths, weaknesses, skills, your love, sadness, hate and compassion, it is all inside of you. It is your identity. The personality is different, this you find outside of your body. You take on layers and layers of protection, of unnatural expectations, of fear, of joy, of guided pleasures and guided guilt. Your personality is conditioned. It is unreal. It is a safety net, and I know, it feels good to choose to be. You think, “this is me”. How you want to be. How you became, after all these years.

Lets try something different. Go inside. Really look.

Close your eyes. Take a deep breath and sink into your body.

Let the body remember who you are. Let yourself feel.

How does your shoulders feel today?

How does your legs want to move?

How is the heart? How is your belly?

Can you feel your solar plexus? Your strength and identity pushing out?

Which sadness’s are lying underneath your heart? Which guilty joys?

What memories are popping up in your mind?

What are your needs? Can you reach them? Allow yourself to feel them? Or do they get stuck in your throat?

The throat holds many secrets. It has swallowed an ocean of needs, thoughts and reactions. This energy field, also called the fifth chakra is the energy of creativity. Expression is exposing. Exposing is also an opening. It is for you. Nobody else. Let it flow out, and trust the energy, which will fill the empty space inside with laughter and joy.

From inside out I am and will be. It is a transformation. The body will guide me. Time will show. Now, it is just now. And I will have breakfast.